hello people

part 1

the question is,what is yours is mine!

hey,don't youu remember every time you call him,

and all youu get is a busytone or he didn't pick up your call.

the fact is he's with me! ohh yess, we are havingg a good time when youu keep on calling him,

and he won't pick up cause he is with me.

and why he didn't pick up your call?

if he do love youu indeed,

but he just let his phone ringing all the time.

so,

THAT IS THE BIGG QUESTION ISN'T IT?!

part2

hey girl! is he everythingg youu wanted in a man?

youu spend your nite alone,

but not me.i am with him all the day,and everyday.

and i heard youu found out

that he's doingg to youu.

so? can't accept the fact?
why? when youu told that mamat about this,

he try to comfort youu and tell youu that everything's a lie,fake.

( that's what "antus jiwa" commented at my page when he told me about "another lady in KL",and i bet youu know him rite cause youu send him to check on me,haha..so silly of youu)

ohh my god!

damn,so coward! just a classic case scenario.

part3
how long youu can sustain with this situation.

so pity of youu.

forgiveness doesn't mean that you're goin to forget everythin.

cause it might haunt youu fer the rest of your life!

ohh btw,

im just so sick of youu,try to stalk on me. and here i come.

youu know what, what did youu do,when he was emitted to the hospital once.

hey,fer your info,i was in kl too by that time,but i just can't stand to be in that situation,

and i sanggup utk ke kuantan,just to be with him.and where are youu? huh? damn it.

he didn't appreciate it at all.

and again,i met his family.i met his parents. please do ask them what he told them about me.and his parents will never tell a lie! and his sister too.ask them,who am i?

and you will find out,if this is a lie.

our relationship so complicated,bigg yess.so complicated.

we have been together for a year plus.i told him,pls do make a decision.

and all he said was," i am confused.i love both of youu. hati abg terbelah dua.so why can't we just be happy rite now,no need to think about all this thing." and to youu( ohh yess,you) don't tell me that this is a lie too. hey pathetic! do youu still remember, he gave youu a box of chocolate.when he was in kl.ohh damn! i got it too.he gave it too me.there are a lot of things that he hide from youu! you know what, everytime he's going back to kl, he is with me! we were always going back to kl together! believe it or not? up to youu,so pityy.

part4

he told me once that we both have a lot in common.eventho it sounds stupid." mia tau x yg mia neh sama je mcm dia,dia anak kedua and sorng je pompuan,sama mcm mia.bla bla bla.." urghh..and to youu,please don't tell me that im cheated on youu,and what i write here is a lie! don't youu dare say that! maybe youu don't remember whatever you have said to me.sebab abg penah ckp kan, "abg susah nk ingt ape yg jadi sblum ney.kenangan2 sume ssh abg nk ingt." get it? so,please don't tell me that i cheated on youu. dear disguise lady, all this while i keep on accompany him all nite long.all the days.i know every single thing about him.ohh yess,every part of him,all his debts,friends,memories,family,chores,financial,car,cats,study, and of course about youu! so who am i to him? i'm pretty sure that youu found out the answer already.

part5

it's be my pleasure to write about all this things.hey miss,do you still rememba each moment when you were with him.when his phone rang then he switched off his phone.because of what? cause im on the line.yess,im calling him.or maybe he pick up and coverline,wannabe!

i give youu one example,for youu.it was in may 2009,when he just came back from uitm shah alam,for sukob thinggy.i do call him,and that time he was with youu at giant kelana jaya isn't it?! do youu still remember that he talked to someone or picked up a call.that was me! cause i asked him,where are youu and with who.then he replied with a silly answer so that youu will not know whose on the line.and to youu my drugs,don't deny it.cause WHAT GOES AROUND WILL COMES AROUND SOON. cause you such an ungrateful person.why youu did all this if youu know this is the end of it.if this is the consequences.

part6

to my beloved iswara car.ohh my,not mine but his.i always be with youu rite.but now,we are no longer be together. haha..but its oke,just take a good care of yourself and your owner too.cause he might can't afford youu anymore.well,he's getting married soon to someone that he 'LOVE' so much.so,he needs a lot of moneyy.and yess,please do tell him to take his driving license as soon as posible so that it doesn't seems like... ;) and to youu,don't feel like i want to "crite buruk pasal youu".nope but this is just a part of KARMA.i told youu before.what you have said to me,you will get it back.part of us,whatever happen between us.will judge who we are.and who you are.youu changed me a lot dear.so much changes in me.and i hate it so much.

part7

do youu ever suicide? he told me that you try to suicide.so? don't youu see that? huh,so freak.what more that youu want to tell me..let me know.you saw on your own that nite,he slap me.and youu told everybody that he did that.you are laughing with a graceful face eventho he said, " i won't marry both of youu.neither you or she.that is it." don't youu realize that he such a coward? dayus? or maybe violent? don't youu ever have the thought that one day you will be in my shoes.cause that is KARMA.one day,he will do the same thing like what he did to me.don't youu ever think about it? and if that day comes,i will laugh out loud!! he told youu everything that nite,he told youu that i am with him all this while.so do youu have thought the he's tell a lie.or maybe cover kesalahan dia sebab berlaku curang.haha..pity of youu sayangg.so again,is he all youu wanted in a man? ohh my,he dun deserve to be a man! he dun deserve to be a husband nor a father.the best phrase, if a person owns a piece of land, do the own it all the way down to the core of the earth? the fact that,if you are happy with what he did to me rite now,you will not be in this type of happy-ever-after situation always cause it might turned out to be a bad nightmares.

part8

this is my feveret no,so this part is only for my drugs.

my dear lovely munchett( hate to say this,but i love to write it)

before youu pointing your fingers to me,please make sure your hands are clean.

before youu are going to change me,make sure youu already found yourself.

before youu say that i am the sinner,make sure you have an angel in youu.

before youu tell lies,make sure youu hide the truth and lock it carefully.

hey,don't youu think that every single thing that youu said to me,is the most harsh words and so damn fucking shit.yess,im talking in a bad way,cause youu taught me all this thing,aren't youu?

all those pictures,all those stories posted at my blog is based on the true story.please feel free to read my blog from the beginning. and i specially dedicate this blog for youu drugs. if im not telling youu the truth,will i wrote almost 121 post in my blog if that is not based on the true story? ohh damn,so annoyingg! ohh i love this part so much! cause it's like,membuka pekungg di dada mereka2 yang cuba utk menafikan hakikat.mereka2 yang cuba utk melukakan hati saya.and read this story,ada 2 titis airmata mengalir di sebuah sungai.satu titis airmata tu menyapa air mata yg satu lagi, "saya air mata seorng gadis yg mencintai seorang lelaki tetapi telah kehilanganya.siapa kamu pula?".jawab titis airmata kedua itu,"saya airmata seorng lelaki yang menyesal membiarkan seorng gadis yang mencintai saya berlalu begitu sahaja". and im touched.but unfortunately you are not.you are not that 'lelaki'.cause you dun deserve it! again YOU DON'T DESERVE IT!

part9

to my beloved bebey munchett.what a good starter,at the beginning of our relationship.youu afraid of hurting me,youu can't stand to see im cryin.and youu gave me all your words and promises.you pampered me,you accompany me all the way throughout the day.we love to watching movies,we eat a lot.we do love kids,we do like in making love, we love sea, and we both love each other.sometimes i feel like in heaven when im with youu.and people around us are aware about this.they keep on talking about us,cause we just like best to be together.so,tell me,if this is a lie.if this is a trap.ohh my dear lovely friggin idioto,i am so pissed off.if this is a trap,don't youu think that youu made a biggest mistakes ever! please do look at the mirror and tell me what do youu see my dear?! what do youu see? did youu see the reflection of yourself,and what inside youu.do youu think that YOU ARE GOOD AND SO WEALTHY ENOUGH FOR ME TO CHASING OVER YOUU AND SAY THAT THIS IS A TRAP? ohh lord,please realize oke that youu have nothing! NOTHING! shame on youu..and people are laughing at youu if you say this.if you think that im over youu because that you have something for me.or do youu think that if i flirting with youu,so that i will get all the books in the library for free? haha..so funny isn't it! or instead of dapat photostat percuma? do youu realize that you have nothingg for me? your car? hey,WE use YOURS or MINE all this while? hurmm..*thinking.youu always say to me,"abg rasa abg mcm lelaki lahanat,lelaki cilaka je skng neh.and abg rasa abg terok sgt!" ohh yess,now i admit.yess YOU ARE.you have a lot of weaknesses,but you don't realize it.you always late for your work,you absent from your job,you tell your staff to work hard but youu just goofing off chatting on the internet no matter how much youu want to reply to 'her' message on yahoo messenger.and you sleeping at your table.add on with all your problems,your debts,your car,your life.despite all this,isn't that enough to say that youu have nothing for me? your responsibility as a lover,as a man,as a 'father to be',as a person(heartless person),as a workers,as a son.i just don't get it,what do youu have for me so that you can say that this is a trap and what all i wanted in youu.

part10

back to basic.i just paste back comments that 'antus jiwa' posted in my blog.

Antus said...

wehy...
how dare he slap u tat nite...he doesnt love u or just pretending...

October 13, 2009 12:08 PM

Antus said...

hye sis..
he maybe he is promising u an empty promises as wat he gave to another lady in KL...just becareful..pity to you being play fool by this guy...

September 8, 2009 5:28 PM

so,is this the best way that youu can do?

youu realize that he play a fool,

but not me who being fool by this guy,cuz i know about youu at the first place.

but it is youu! you are the one who have been cheated all this while!

and now you are telling me that im the one who being fool.

gila ke ape? ke x bley trima hakikat?! haha..

or maybe that is just part of the drama! :)

part11

and save the best for last.that is life's rule.god,just let all this turned out to be a great KARMA.bayar cash boleh tak? bayar pada dia yang x mengerti,pada dia yang menyakiti,pada dia yang melukakan.so that the rumuours were subsequently found to be untrue.and to youu yess i am damn so much fucking love youu till the end of my life,but I HATE YOUU as much as i love youu.this life is very fragile,once you have broken it,it's hard to get back like what it used to be before.and the moments that you realize that nothing will ever be the same.

part12

boy's rule state that there are the expectations that everyone has on youu.youu have to live up to the things that youu tell people.but you are not.not a little bit,not at all.not try to fulfill your words and promises.and to youu,youu and youu.live up your life with a graceful face and brighten your day NOW,but soon,i bet you for god's sake,i am here hoping for KARMA.and all this is just part of it.just look at the mirror and tell me what do youu see inside.this is just the BEGINNING.it's not the END,cause i still can write a sentence after it.

.selamat ulang tahun sayang.

*when u read this post,i hope u will listen to imran ajmain's song:selamat ulang tahun sayang.

i just wanna say,happy birthday sayang.and like always,i love you so much and i miss you for every breath that i take.i miss the time when you hold my hand and blew me a kiss,and say that you love me.when you finished up all my food and say ''mia neh suka membazir tau,mia tau x udang tu mati utk bagi kita makan,pstu dia mati sia2 je kalo kita x abes kan''.frankly, i love you! i like the way you are sayang.i miss the time,when we spend our whole day togetha kat pantai anak air..that's our place that no one know about it.kita slalu picnic kt situ kan,datingg kt situ..mia masakkan speggetti,kita main chess eventho mia kalah byk kalii :') ,and i remember when you ''darling carry'' me.ohh my god! im cryin..then pantai anak air jgk,first time we did the icebreaking session.u told me,''mata mia mcm cicak lahh''..then,kita pegi tarik pukat,just two of us tarik pukat masa tu,eventho dapat dua tiga ekor ikan je.pstu abg pnjat pokok kt pantai tu,sbb abg nk larii dari mia.byk sgt kenangan kita kt pantai tu.and kita slalu akn makan ikan goreng tepung kt tanjung lumpur sblm kita g pntai tu.that's ur feveret..then kalo time2 hujung bulan,masa poket masing2 tgh kering,kita akn beli satu char kuey teow kt permatang badak tu and share it togetha.and honestly,I MISS ALL THAT!! *crying.frowning.

dear,do you remember this song.this is our song,when we first dance together on that nite.do you still rememba when the day that i'm yours.and that nite ur wish comes true.do you still rememba all ur wishes? the 3 things that u want to do with me.dance with me,dinner and watch movie with me.i will remember this song for the rest of my life sayang.it's our song.

yang tulus ikhlas ingin sekali sekala dirinya dibelas.

walau hanya dgn dakapan di angin lalu.

yang selalu memberi ingin sekali sekala jadi penerima

cukup dengan salam dan manis doa

aku ingin kau merasakan hebatnya cinta

dan leburkan saja serpihan calar derita

selamat ulang tahun sayang.

and on 21th disember 2009.

a year ago.i surprised you with a sweet candlelite dinner.

teringat blk riak muka abg ms tu,terkejutt and speechless.

i made it.eventho mia kt kl for the whole week,and mia arrange everything dr kl je.

on that day,mia blk kuantan just for you.

and everything's perfect!

with all the flowers,candles,background,the waiter,foods,napkins,the presents,and the cakes.

and with all my heart i wanna say,i love you so much!

and for this year,

i hope u will receive the chocolates that will arrive soon at your doorstep.

as long as you know how much i love you,and how i feel rite now.

if i cud fly,i will fly to you.so that i can be with you.

but..

i will just close my eyes,tears will come out.

and yess,you are in my mind.

again..

happy birthday sayang.

i love you more than words can say.

can't wait to meet u,and spend whole day together again.

.away.

i will be offline for couple of weeks.

gonna miss you all.

i just need time to recover.

to be left all alone.

to munchet:

mia sayangkan abg.

off.

.i swear.

for god's sake.

i miss you so much!

if i have wings,i will fly to you.

and i wish.

munchett,

ilysm

:(

.hate the changes.

i hate myself.

and i want to die.

i hate myself

for doing my own mistakes

and i can't make it right

i hurt people,but i didn't notice it

what a damn huh!

yah i know i am..

you don't need to tell me.

and you're happy rite cuz i am

one of the dammest person in the world.

this is not the real me.

you changed me a lot.

i want back the old me.

instead of,the old you.

:(

.words that speaks.

never take someone for granted

hold every person close to your heart

cause you might wake up one day

and realize that you've lost a diamond

while you were too busy collecting stones.

there are moments which mark your life

moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same

and time is divided into two parts

before this and after this

sometimes,you can feel such a moment coming.

that's the test

people told me that at times like that,

strong people keep moving forward anyway

no matter what they are going to find.

so it's not gonna be easy!
it's going to be really hard!
we're gonna have to work at this

everyday, but i want to do that because i want you.

i want all of you everyday,forever.

you and me everyday.

i won't let you go.

and i will wait for you.

a touching love story begins..

and a heartless love story endings..

.needlessly.

being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.

it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

even i'm going to smile like nothings wrong,

talk like everything's perfect,

act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me.

.love to strangers.

my knees were numb,

to think about all these times and what we had become

i wouldn't move,my hands were shaking,

as my heart was breaking,

while tears want to fall down my cheek,

i wouldn't speak.

i hold a smile on my face.

because i know that you can't be replaced.

i hold back my tears,

and face my fear.

as i slowly walk towards you,

still thinking about we had were so true.

the laughs that we had,

how did our relationship become so bad?

countless hour on the phone,

and now i'm left all alone.

each step i take,

the more i feel like a fake,

can't even looked at you in the eyes,

not knowing what to say.

we were once lovers,

but know we're total strangers.

i dun't want it to be like this way.

i won't let it go.

.yess i'm laughing.

u saw me laughing,

but deep inside my heart i'm dying.

u saw me smile with a graceful face,

but deep within i'm crying.

for good,

to make all my friends think that i'm ok.

they know,

how hard i try to live up my life without u.

how hurt it is to be me.

they just TRY to make me happy.

they just want to see me laughing.

but the truth is they know i'm crying.

and frowning.

.tagged by jean.

the ex survey

thanx for the tag!

;)

What's your name?

mia

How old are you?

19yrs old

Who, out of your ex's meant the most to you?

the one and only,munchett.

(well,he's my first ex)

How often do you think about him/her?

every single second

How long were you both together?

1year and 3mnths.

If you could go back in time, would you go back to be with that person?

yess please.

Name a few good memories that you can remember sharing with that person

a lot.such as went for a candlelite dinner with him and met his parents.

What were your first thoughts when you met him/her?

bunchett and 'cina ke dia neh'.

Do you love him/her still to this day?

yess i am and i will always love him.

Did you ever picture yourself marrying him/her?

yess.

Planning a family with him/her?

well,almost married 3 months ago.but.. *frown

(and also plan for a marriage thinggy in 2years from now on)

Do you miss him/her?

every single second.

Do you still keep what was ever exchanged between the both of you?

yess.

How long has it been since you've spoken to your ex?

yesterday.

Are you friends with your ex?

hurmm..i dun want to let him go as my bf.

What was the most important thing ever given to you by your ex?

seashell(i wrote our name on it,kutip dari pantai anak air.tmpat pertama datingg)

and a pillow.

What was the most memorable thing your ex had ever said to you?

abg sayangkan mia dan abg akan rasa serba salah seumur hidup kalau buat mia sedih.

(well honey,you did it)

*cry

Do you ever regret the break up?

i wish i could turn back time.to get back thing like before.

Have you ever tried to date someone else, but kept thinking of your ex?

never and ever try to date someone else.'cause i can't let him go.

Have you ever compared someone else to your ex?

ohh yess.but never be the same one.

Have you ever cried missing your ex?

everyday,every nite,and every step i take.

Did you cry soon after the break up?

haruslahh gilaa! and i did those silly thinggy too owkie.

Was it hard to get over?

yes.its hard.

What did you do to take your mind off of your ex?

frankly,none.i tried so hard.

Have you thought about calling your ex at any point in time?

i keep on calling him like before.'cause i will not let him go.

What do you think would happen if you did call them?

crying of cuz,and i keep on saying 'mia sayang abg and kita jadi mcm dulu..'

Ever thought to tell him/her how you feel?

i keep on telling him what i feel.

Would you ever get back together with your ex?

i wish.

Do you think he/she would take you back?

have no idea.but then yess,one day perhaps.who knows rite.

Do you love/him her?

i do love him more than words can say.he's the first and last.

and this is my promise,I WILL WAIT FOR YOU SAYANG.

.112.

wondering..

why 112?

well peeps,

i already wrote 112 stories posted on my blog.

hurmm..

lots of thinggy happened,lots of memories

and this blog i dedicate to you munchett

ilysm

:(

.pain.

i cried for the time that

you were almost mine

i cried for the memories

i have left behind

i cry for the pain

the lost,the old,the new,

i cry for the times

i thought i had you

and

i promise someday you will

regret

losing me...

and you will think back &&say

''damn..that girl really DID love me..''

.strangers.

she's my princess.10 years of friendship and still counting!

yess, last week hangout with them.

at least,im happy for a short while.

met zizie and firdaus si gila!

lama gila kot ta jumpe! rinduu mereka!
hangout,shopingg,lepakingg,photography-ingg,and mcd!!

venue: pavilion,bukit bintang.

.dillema.

i always remember the good times we spend together

the world seems to be in a standstill when we are together

how i wish we will always find time to see each other

and cherish the gift of the relationship that we have for each other

and

do you know that i love you?

i probably already told you,but i'm going to keep saying it.

(ohh no,not probably but YESS i told you)

there's no lies in these words,not one bit.

your smile keeps me alive.

is one more reason to keep fighting.

i would give you my soul for comfort,

even if it leaves me dark and cold.

&&when i hold you close,

i can feel your heart beat fast,

and i talked to myself,

i've found that 'someone' at last.

BUT..

:(

.please.

.crying.thinking.

.the past.

sayang,i miss the old you.and i need you like before.

when we laugh together,we love each other.

when you say that you love me.

i miss all that.

and

i told you,that you just like my DRUG.yess,you are.

'cause im addicted to you.

i love you

more than words can say

.we love us.

(currently listening to peterpan's song:tentang kita)

*cryin.

.will you marry me.

currently i hate this.

because

I AM

with all your words and promises.

.EMPTY.

.happy birthday.

happy birthday to me.

worst birthday ever.

:'(

i wish,he will realize that i love him so muchy.

miss the old you,munchett.

drops of my tears.this is what u gave me as a gift.

.hate.

I HATE

the way you talk to me

and the way you cut your hair

I HATE the way you drive my car

I HATE it when you stare

and the way you read my mind

I HATE you so much it makes me sick!

it even makes me rhyme

I HATE the way your always right

I HATE it when you lie

I HATE the way you make me laugh.

even worse when you make me cry.

I HATE it when you are not around,

and the fact that you didn't call,

but MOSTLY

I HATE the way

I DON'T HATE YOU

not even close,

not even a little bit,

not even at all.

.si gila.

oit si gila.

congratz,

cuz u make me cry.

u are laughing while i'm cryin.

u are happy while im sad.

thanx cuz u take away my happiness.

.worth for RM1.

Dr. Mahathir write in his blog,

Saya ucap taniah kepada Kerajaan Negeri Selangor kerana berjaya menganugerahkan Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim dengan jawatan penasihat ekonomi dengan bayaran hanya RM1 setahun.

Saya berdoa Kerajaan Selangor tidak akan dipermainkan oleh Penasihat Ekonominya

comment :

such a great politician like Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim,was offered to this position will just get his wage for RM1 per year.

worth or not?

mybe a lot of ppl forget what had happened,the economic crisis when Dato Seri Anwar bein the minister.

.politik wang.

when u read this post.

weird isn't it?

well,that is my biggest concern nowadays.

dear fellow frens,

actually i have my own determination.

believe it or not.

i want to involves myself in politics someday.

basically i want to change the stereotype thinking,

that woman can't be a leader.

eventho yess i admit,it is hard to be someone in charge.

a boss, a team leader, a mother, a wife..all in one.

big yes,it is hard to be someone in charge.

*For one, you have to show a very disciplined-type of character. No, there’s no fooling around. There’s no “hey let’s just sleep in today and call in sick” type of situations. You can’t play hooky to yourself. And if you’re a mom, you can’t say “I won’t be a mom today cos I am on MC”.There are also the expectations everyone has on you. Oh, you’re the boss so you have to do this and that. Oh, you’re the mom so go out and get food on the table.You can’t revert to your inner self. You know, the one that just wants to go out and do whatever you feel like. You can’t just go decide to throw everything away and go watch three movies back to back in Cineleisure. It’s nice to think it, but you can’t do it.Most of all you have to live up to the things you tell people. You can’t tell your staff to work hard and then you go goofing off chatting on the internet, no matter how much you want to reply to that message on Facebook. You can’t tell your kid to finish his food and then you don’t eat your vegetables.So it’s hard being someone in charge.

*i copy back my post before: boy's rule.

become a politician,

is not that easy tho.

that is the facts.

as one of the ppl,commented at dr. mahathir's blog

mereka yang merasakan diri mereka lebih bagus dan pandai..mengapa mereka tidak menjadi perdana menteri?

&& here i come.

one day the ppl will say,

''yarr,that is Dato' Dr. Amira Farhana(wannabe)..such a great politician&&im ur biggest fans..''

[guys,fer god's sake this is not an empty promises.or 'angan-angan kosong'..with god's willingness.i will,someday]

.balik kampung.

balik kampung is a great tradition.

so for this Hari Raya Aidiladha or well known as Hari Raya Korban,

i went back to my dad's hometown.

Kuala Pilah,Negeri Sembilan.

well,every year the 'korban' thinggy will take place there.

as it becomes a tradition.

in between,to ties our relationship among the family members.

a great thing to share,

i saw on my own,

how the cow was caught into a situation of being the 'korban' for the day.

bahaha.. :)

sawan lembu2 tu sume

hee..

btw,afta all it was fun.met all my cousins,aunties,&& of cuz my nenek.

rindu mereka&&suasana kampung.

:)

.speak out loud.

motiff?

haha..dunno why lately those annoying ppl always talkin craps abt me&&specially my carry mark results.nonsense! fer god's sake guys, that's mean i am great owkie if i much more better than YOU.

is there any problem if i got 19/20 for my speaking test result?

yess, it was a grup presentation.

but then i was presented it in front of the lecturer.

isn't it?

so?

what's wrong with it.

mybe i talked more than others.

the lecturer evaluate me not u.

so watpe nk wat test balik bagai.

gila*

fer ur information

speak out loud

&&

my super duper confidence.

THAT IS THE REAL ME.

:)

.important notice.

my birthday is just around the corner!

heee.. (;

can't wait to celebrate the day with my fellow frens!

venue: genting highlands

my birthday is on:

3rd of Dis 2009

.gila again.

do u ever miss me? do u ever miss the way we use to be?

when we use to talk n laugh?

do u miss our conversations?

and what about our dumb sarcasm

that only u n me understood?

do u ever miss any of that?

i cant be the only one that does.

oit gila ingat neh,

Happiness lies for those who cry && those who hurt!

.mine not yours.

what's the heck that im thinkin about?

you know i gave u the world

you had me in the palm of ur hand

so why ur love went away

thought it was me and u

until the end

but i guess i was wrong

can't believe it's ending this way

you don't have to worry that much

'cause i know that you're living a lie

funny thing about that

u will found out && regrets.

*gila

.when the heart speaks.

hey.

when i write this post, it was an eve of Hari Raya Aidiladha

which is celebrated by me in a heartbroken way.

silly huh?

but that is not the point indeed.

this is what i am goin to say,when my heart's speaks.

drug, i cried all nite long because of u.

u made my day goin sucks. i were miles away,keep thinkin of what am i goin to do.

just to get back u as mine.

i would say,when u made a decision in your life.you puzzling me with ur words.

big yess, you might say with a graceful face ''yes this is what i want.take it or leave it! there's nothing wrong with my decision,&& i have known them for ages,&&bla bla bla..''. hey you! this is not about u known them for ages or not.but it is about what u had done to me.okay.so think wisely.don't be too paranoid !! ok,fine if this is it.as u wish,be my guest! you set me up at the first place dear.gosh, i wish if i cud turned back time! u deceived to them! there's truth in your lies,&& doubt in your faith. such an ungrateful sinner. listen this, no matter what is our background, we're all the same! i wish u will realize what is karma! and

what goes around will comes around. have faith in whatever u do! i bet u, u will be alone,with all ur secrets and regrets.

( eventho i said all those thinggy, i am still loving u.gila ke aku? freak!! )

.loneliness.

i whisper to the moon

gimme back

my companion,my lover,my heaven

without him

the night's my loyal companion

loneliness engulfs me

moon

don't let it be day

let the world stay in twilight

let it be lonely

like..

ME..

.random.

ohh.they are so so insane (those are LOST of identity ppl!) haha.heart them so much! gila! ;) ghouse,ben,fad,atok,doul&&zaza ikhlas.heee.. :) love u all so much!

location: .the curve,damansara.after seven,kuantan. mcd,kuantan.

.crazee-ness.

it has been ages since my last post.hee.. :) btw,now im on my semester break.ohh my god,so boringgg.but then,thanx god i have my wc,my lappy(eventho sometimes it freakin out!sigh*..),&&all my frens : ghouse,fad,aiman,ben,fakrul,nasha,tash,fida.who always accompany me.thanx guys! wink*. ;) && here is a picture when im caught into a situation of freakin-boringg day.hee..&&this is the crazee-ness of me.captured at 4.00a.m..gile! haha :)

.if u were in my shoes.

please.understand my situation.i really can't let all this thing happen.i can't let it go! i lost everything just because of u! EVERYTHING..i don't know how am i suppose to live my life afta this.it was terrible.
I'M NOT STRONG ENUF TO FACE IT,ALL BY MYSELF.
all this while 'it' has made me immune to danger,and i guess i will be hooked fer the rest of my life.i need 'it'.cuz i was so into it.



:'(

.dear my bff ever.

this is fer my beloved bff.
guys..i love u so much&&miss you guys so so muchy.rindu da nk hangout with u all, karok,i wrote the lyrics fer ur song.doing all the things.ejad,jaa..miss u guys so much!!but then sumpaa i tachingg! u guys went to akon beach party WITHOUT me! aku da nk gerak blk da that morning tot will enjoy the nite togetha eventho kalo aku blk pon blk ari je.sumpaa sedey! :'( and tho y u said yg aku da berubah jaa.i never eva changed owkie! it's hard.my life goes on but i cracked up! sigh..
when u posted this on myspace:

babe...
c'mon la..
kau tau situasi kn..
sume bkn tangan aku..
damn..
kau bukan puya dulu

gosh,why why&&why jaa.aku still puya yg dlu! the old me.it just that things are changed now.im sick of it jaa.seriusly..nape kite sume x mcm dlu guys? always hangout all togetha.now sume da separate.u know my brother well rite? he messed up. u know abt it! u knew everythin!! now pkey yg brubah! eventho aku jauh,tp bile aku blk aku slalu singgah nk jmpe ko,ejad sume.sumpaa aku rindu! :(

*im so sorry.i was wrong.but don't put the blame on me.things are different.now aku da x bley jd mcm dlu.cuz my life's sucks! i need u guys.

.someday.

someday you will cry
like i cried for you
someday you will miss me
like i missed you
someday you will need me
like i needed you
someday you will love me
like i loved you before


...

.at this point i am wondering.

now bru la i prasan.all this while actually,someone's watching over me.ta paham btol.all this while i never talk abt u cuz i dun tink u have that something yg i bley tulis dlm blog neyh.my older,oldest,&& super oldest post tu sume xde kaitan dgn u. bout i hate this person,this gurl,or this particular ppl&& bla bla blaa...sume xde kena mengena dgn u pon actually.haihhh..cmne i nk ckp lagik ekk.the ppl that i was talking abt tu,adlh someone yg almost everyday kot i jmpe dia.hurm..so that is it.psne jgn laa u rs im talkin about u,cuz seriuosly i dun even talk about u dlm blog neyh.cuz kite pon x lahh ada mslh kot utk diheboh2kan..am i rite.so far tengss to someone sbb gtau i bout this and i bru je kot read ur post.&& sory ok if all this while u trasa ke ape.but frankly, i NEVER talk about u dlm blog i neh.kang sbb nk wat u caye i gtau name org yg i slalu ckp dlm blog neh! hahaha..okeh x cmtu. :) sorry again ok,jgn terasa anything yunk cuz i rs i xde probs dgn u pon.hurmm..

mood: sorry&&tutup cerita.cheerss,owkie~

&& yet more stuff

a damn busy weekend, a busy day && a busy week ahead. hahaha~ but yet still continue onlineINg.
wacky.

.my game plan.

• wait for the next catch
• ''there are many fishes in the sea''

• cast my net
• ''if you've got the guts, go ahead!''
  

• just decide!
• "give it your best shot! otherwise you still have a shoulder to cry on."
  

• &&that is it
• "live your life to the fullest"
  

.take this.

.annoying.you.
:)

.things to be done.

when i wrote this,consider da masuk arini la kann..
eventho da pkl 2.55a.m..huhu..bru je blk dr kua mkn td.
then,now disebabkan x bley tido.so tot i want to list out all my programs fer tomorow.
:)

1. first&&foremost,bgn pagi(bgn pagi lahh sgt kann,hehe.hoppingg fida will wake me up early) utk drive to kolej.nk check carry mark fer paper mandarin,maths,public speaking&&note taking.haihh,,at this point im not worry at all cuz i rs da wat yg terbaekk (if not how come i bley dpt highest mark rite..hee) && actually im kinda worry dgn paper public speaking.eventho i did well in my speech,tp tula ms exam tuh jwb men2 plak.adess...but it's owkie laa,as long as i x repeat paper owkie. :)

2. next, kna discuss fer proposal utk event.arghh..this thing makes me so depress gile.i have to make sure my idea utk wat secretarie's week tu diterima oleh board.ohh my god,i just hoping fer da best lahh.proposal&&objectives then sponsors,corporate body.all those things must be perfect! it's owkie,i have my points&& i will make sure board akn setuju with my idea.heee...

3. then,nk g lunch.huhu..lapo kot kalo x mkn.well,i am on my way utk meng-CHUBby kn body owkeh..hee.

4. pstuh,nk jmpe inchikk karim a.k.a mr.Kay..hehe..nk dgr gossip2 bru dr dia and also dgr luahan hati dia.&& as usual i will say, GRAB!! c'mon..miss nana kan ada..hahah.. :)

5. hurmm..lagik ape ekk.study kot cket fer computers&&software.final is just around the corner,so da laa x bace pape lagik.huhu..

6. lastly,blk umah online-INg && gossip-INg.hahah..

done~
:)

.the dinner.

last week ada dua dinner yg i pegy.dua hari berturut2 plak tuh!best dpt makan free jek kt hotel.heheh..first dinner kt hotel vistana,kuantan.malam anugerah kecemerlangan sukan,then mlm sabtu dinner om114 kt ms gardens,kuantan theme masquerade nite.here are some pictures of the dinner.done~